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I’m really open to everything you say, Evan, but I never meet any good men! It’s certainly frustrating to want to prioritize your love life, but not have the opportunity to meet any new men on a day-to-day basis. The reason you’re single is simply that you haven’t met the right guy – and yet you have no idea where he’s coming along. Before you tune out or run away screaming, hear me out. In fact, any evidence that I provide that contradicts you is only going to make you believe in your original premise more. Yes, you’re hardwired to be stubborn and, as such, you can easily fall victim to “the confirmation bias”, which seeks out information which only reaffirms what you already believe (biting my tongue on the obvious Fox News joke…) So, if you have dated online and discovered the following: • Men sometimes lie. You think that 90% of men online are “wrong” for you. But so are 90% of men in bars, on buses, or in Starbucks.
This lack of opportunity, above all, is the main reason that you’re not in love now. If you have high standards, MOST men are not going to be to your liking. I’m not a corporate shill for the online dating industry.
Most importantly, it will forever change the way you connect with men online.
Those of us who've tried can all attest: it's haaaaaard.
The problem here is that e-mail feels as casual as a phone call, but it's permanent. Tone, intentions and content can all be easily misconstrued.
Just remember: this is a note, not a Talmudic passage to be read and re-read for every hidden nuance, message and subtext.
So if 90% of all men aren’t even first-date worthy, where is the place where you have access to the greatest number of men? I don’t think your negative experience in online dating is silly.
But, in writing off online dating you’d be making a massive mistake. You’ve noticed that men tend to disappear in the middle of emailing? It’s because men and women both discriminate based on looks and age, and you merely want to be given an opportunity to meet.
When a boyfriend and I were separated for three months, I drove him absolutely crazy because I needed – non-negotiably – to talk to him each day.
We discovered this when somehow we skipped two planned phone calls and I completely freaked out.
E-mail is a wonderful invention for separated loved ones and is particularly useful in helping to avoid transferring your IRA directly to AT&T.
On the other hand, be careful about relying on e-mail to resolve conflicts.