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It’s equally important not to overvalue that same quality or characteristic in yourself and be blinded to other aspects of you or use it to compensate for real intimacy.
Being intelligent is about having the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills.
It’s not about saying ‘Be with a stupid person’ because this is the extremes that I always encounter with this tenuous subject.
This is the same thing I get when I say that you shouldn’t be blinded by chemistry, looks, passion, the colour of someone’s skin, how great they are in the sack, their physique, how much money they have.
It’s one thing if they go on to demonstrate that they are relationship smart but if they don’t, you can’t stay there like a debt collector demanding that they pay up a skill that they don’t possess.
While you may be tempted to ‘teach’ them, no ‘student’ learns anything and applies the knowledge in a subject that they’re not interested in or don’t ‘get’. Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.
If you place a high value on intelligence, you still need to be involved with an intelligent, available person that you can have mutually fulfilling copiloted relationship with.
These very same people are then bewildered as to why these ‘intelligent’ partners haven’t given them the relationship that they expected, and were in fact lacking in relationship and emotional smarts.Some are also natural aptitudes – something that most people just don’t have for relationships.Being relationship and emotionally smart are different and are made exceptionally more complicated when you throw in libidos, experiences, interpretations, beliefs, values, how you’re raised, confidence levels, how emotionally available you are and of course your self-esteem.Intelligent partner doesn’t equal intelligent relationship doesn’t equal mutually fulfilling healthy copiloted relationship.There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to or desiring intelligent partners but like anything you place a high value on, it’s important not to be blinded by it and make assumptions about qualities, characteristics and values that they might possess with that intelligence.